Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
