Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
