I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
