I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
