dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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