we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
