can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
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