remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Dignity is for republicans.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
