Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
