goodnight i made you a song goodbye
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
