She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
i came on her dog
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
