Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
