thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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