i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Randomize
