A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Randomize
