did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
