i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Randomize
