I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
