just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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