I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
