dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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