she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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