It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
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