nut hugger
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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