Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
he shaved USA in his pubs
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
