playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
