Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
