There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
