I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
