Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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