I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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