Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
