Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
