I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
