Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
