Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
