we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Randomize
