Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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