Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
