Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
