Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
