Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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