Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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