i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Randomize
