Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
