I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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