Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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