i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
