if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
