If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
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