I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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