Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Randomize
