Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
