He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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