She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
