Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Randomize
