i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
sick fucks of a feather flock together
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
